OutNotes.com

To whom it may concern:

Yeah, the rest of the world knows I'm gay. What the hell though, I might as well "share my coming out letter with the world."

Here I am on the cusp of forty, firebrand, caustic, adamant, but a relatively "normal" gay man.

A lot of young GLBT people (and old ones) privately wonder if being gay and happy for the rest of their lives can be mutually inclusive. Sure. Does that mean you won't spend a lot of time being pissed off at the rest of the world? Absolutely not.

Someone once proposed the idea that anger is one of the strongest indicators of optimism. If you know people are capable of doing better, how can you NOT be mad at them for how they currently handle civil rights? Hell, right now we have a potential supreme court judge who is under the belief that the Equal Protection Clause requires proportional racial representation in legislative bodies. Tell me we can't find someone with a little judicial experience and/or an understanding of constitutional law, but I digress...

Perhaps I'm a little mad at myself for not having done better. Pretty soon, I'll be moving out of the states with my partner and children. I've been asked a number of times if I love America. That's a little like asking if you love an old lover who was once a wonderful, kind, beautiful person, and got hooked on meth. Yes, still the same entity, but not the same being. I'm leaving, but don't consider me out of the game. Once an American, always an American, no matter how much it angers or depresses me.

And I'm not angry because I am "first and foremost a gay man," but because that is ALL America sees me as. For the last seven years, I've first and foremost been a dad, secondly a lover to my partner of almost two decades, thirdly a morally outraged citizen of the world, fourthly an artist, and I don't even know where down the line gay fits in. That isn't to say it's unimportant, because it's shaped all of those greater things. However, I think it would be easier for some people to award me equal rights if they saw me for the sum of who I am. So perhaps you shouldn't read this as a coming out letter about homosexuality as a coming out letter about being a human being with just as many facets as any heterosexual. If you like what you read, feel free to write me at jacarter62@hotmail.com.

Warm regards,

Jack

editors note: the letters on this site are posted under the assumption that the original writer personally submitted them. if you find your letter or other intellectual property on this site please let us know if it should be removed. thank you.

Partner sites: Theatre Date | Found News Network